make the grade...upgrade

so I was trying to make myself sleepy and decided to read up on some usa cycling policies and procedures. Course my eyes are a bit blurry by now but I figured since its been awhile since I was an actual USCF official that I should familiarize myself with a few of the changes. Anywho, the biggest one that plays out in what seems like anyone's head on the IA scene, well maybe not anyones but what I often hear over and over again directed towards any individual that would actually crack the top 5 in any given races, pies included is "upgrade dude." Anyways, I wont get into too much detail but I was looking at points distribution bsed upon numbers of participants and placings and I'm like adding things up in my head beings that I am a cat 2 and I was like "wow, I barely made it, if that." And then I get to thinking about all the people that have to give people crap when they are hesitant to upgrade. Do they look at the rule book before they open their mouth. Reminds me of a "kid" I know that does nothing but spew twisted info from his bumping gums and thinks its real cool to treat you like an eighth grader. On the flip side I think about the folks that are hell bent on upgrading to the highest category they can as fast as they can. Seriously, how many legit Cat 1's are there in Iowa? 1 or 2? I heard a rumor one year that a former district rep downgraded all the Cat 1's that didn't maintain their standing. I don't know if its true or not and quite frankly I am talking out of my ass right now. But from what I remember 6 guys were relegated to the 2's. Boy I bet that changed their race calendar.
On a side note, I was watching an old video of Old Capital at my awkwardly tanned friends house. It was the year Lowell Kellog won the pro1/2's. I remember seeing Mongo(6'8" cat 2) and Parman in a break. This was like downtube shifter era. That race was incredible. I don't think any of us today, despite spinning classes and training camps out west, could touch those Iowa City boys from the early 90's. Well Jason could.....but I mean us mortals.

I'm branching out.

Below is my current bad ride travel vehicle. This is sorta an expirement in blogger photoposting with images from my phone as I am too lazy to be that creative. I almost gave this car up but couldn't quite find a buyer that was looking for a vehicle that gets 33mpg. I guess gas is too cheap right now or people have to much pride to get in such a POS. Somethings that I like about this car is that I can get 3 bikes with wheels off behind the backseat, 2 bikes in the bike seat, and 2 bikes on my sweet, no investment, homemade rear rack. I use to hate this car when it had a roof rack but then it came alive when I took it off. For some reason when I did that, my fuel economy increased about 30%. I know this would vary vehicle to vehicle but it makes me wonder about how responsible a roof rack is for the environment when other option exist. Anyway, its cold out and I am going to go warm myself over a nice styrofoam bonfire. Goodnight...

Another day of sh*t

Pretty damn cold today. Yup pretty damn cold. Went to the Bike World Ames roller race. I felt like ass, not sure if it was cuz I was trying out a new bike on rollers or what. Could have been zapped from the drive into the head wind with random hairy ice patches. Either way no biggie. I was glad I went. There was 1 All9Yards guy there so this was a race they weren't gonna control for a change. Its too bad they didn't make it up. I really like those guys. I wonder what they are up to. I'm pretty sure I am gonna get a powertap. I vow not to blog about it. That shit really annoys me. I don't want to know peoples watts, HR's, and Zones. I want to know why they had an awesome day and why they are blogging about it. I don't want to know if they think they are fit and the shit. Seriously though, a show of hands, (all 6 of them). What would you rather hear about? Somebody blogging about how effin awesome they are or someone blogging about how bad their day sucked. I seriously think people relate more to a person having a bad day instead of reading about a person and their wonder twin activated powers. My favorite quote today came from Harper, and he admitted he stole it from someone else, but I still liked it. I asked "how are you Greg?" And he responded "better than I deserve." Aren't we all that way? Its still damn sh*tty cold, and I am awesome.

I think I'll be a dick today

Since I have about six readers or fewer, why not be a dick. I don't mean much offense by it so why not. First off, my hobbies are expensive and putting me in the poor house. Why not sell some quality time with myself to support my hobby. If you are interested in spending time with me while paying for some of my racing let me know. Seriously, other people are doing it, must be a good idea, and who wouldn't want to hang out, go to McDonald's, rent some DVD's at Blockbuster and chill in my man cave. Secondly, not to totally put down the hundreds of volunteered hours that go into planning and administering the Iowa Cup series, as that is a very noble thing to do, what is the deal with leaving all state championships out of the series? Wouldn't Iowa cup be a great way to promote these events? Anyway, I'm an idiot so what I have put above should not be deemed offensive in any manner but could be I don't know. And while I am on my dick mode trend, I will remind everyone, my friend Nick has a tanning bed. I am not kidding..............

lasers

My friend Dom has lasers. They are really cool and make things that you put in places feel really good. They also make Dom appear to be really smart about somethings. If there are some things that make you feel really stupid, you could talk to Dom about them and maybe he could help you out. I know when I am really depressed, I think about Dom. and it just helps me keep going sometimes. But this is more about Doms. cool lasers and how smart they make him seem despite the fact he has a tanning bed.

I hate head colds.

Fortunately what has been going on in my nose is now moving into my chest. I had an incredible experience today meeting up with the new team and sponsor. As exciting as it was I still recollect all the fond experiences I have from the past 4 years on my last team. There are positives and negatives in almost everything and I found myself this evening getting caught up in too many negative aspects of my life instead of reflecting on what a fantastic day I had. For some reason I hit the lows many times after I hit the highs. I frequently find myself too judgemental, easily annoyed, and often feeling unsupported by others. I know I won't change who I am but must always remember all the wonderful experiences and people whom I have come across in my life. As often as I feel alone I must also remember all the amazing people and events that my life has been blessed with.

BTW-my friend dominic has a lot of lady like qualities

how bad does life suck

I am really stressed with work(school) and life in general at the moment and should have a million things to do besides update blogger but isnt that another reason for blogger? procrastinating. I just meditated off a huge headache after eating my school issued cheeseburger and onion rings. Some people lately have asked me what some of my training secrets are and I will divulge (sp.?) that one of those secrets is that a main staple of my diet is cookies. I still like icecream but dont hit it like I use to. Anyway, Im am tired of writing a blog post now....bye

Its a new year And I have a knack for the obvious

so its blogger, y not talk myself up. Sunday I rode my first century for the year. I don't remember what the temperature was outside but yeah...wtf. Um then the next day it was New Years eve and I did my Chris Hansen off the bike training. I also wore some of my friends daughters clothes and went jogging. Then today, which is almost over and a new year, I set my new hour record on kreitler rollers. I think it had to do something with the assload of cookies I ate and some mental anguish. I was pretty proud of myself and rewarded myself with a shower. I even used soap and shampoo but as of this post, I still need to brush my teeth. Sometimes I wish I could fall asleep on demand. Now is one of those moments. bye.

not much worth talking about

Haven't updated for awhile. That is prolly the leading sentence for most blog post. Then you get the 5% that actually update. Not really a big fan of blogger. Seems like alot of "here's what I have going on." But then again I guess thats what it is all about. So......here's what I have going on.

Did some cross racing this year. Kinda sucked at it but didn't want to take it serious cuz well....just doesn't seem serious. Take nationals for instance. How do you qualify for nationals in cross?? As far as I can tell all it takes is a pulse. Looked at a couple of the races I could do down there. One of them had 163 ppl. signed up. People are gonna get lapped before they are off the line. And then I think I read that if the race got cancelled your entry was non-refunable or something. Didn't read too hard into that. Oh well. the funnest thing about cross this year was giving Bruce Grell a complex. He should see how I treat Dom.

In other news. I ride my bike. Here are my stats:
riding time: more than enough
mileage: no idea
zones: wtf is that
HR: somewhere just above dead
Calories burned: who really cares
Wattage: I can only keep track of that on light bulbs.
Spinning: when there is a tail wind
Tempo:when there is a headwind
Intervals:when there is a hill or when I am at Dehn's at 11p.m. and could swear something is chasing me that has yet to be discovered as an existing form of life.

Anywho, a couple of big thanks though I would be suprised at if this even gets read. One is to Craig Cooper. He is going to be a huge sponsor for his first year and hope things live up to his expectations. Another one goes to Matt Brakeville. Thank god he injurs himself by trying to do something silly as race cross hard and ends up leaf blowing over 5 miles of Dehn's as a recovery activity. Honorable mention goes to Bruce Grell. I sure pick on him alot but man, talk about an easy target. Hopefully he doesn't have a tanning bed like this one guy I know. ew......

It would have been a wonderful day for a road ride

I continue my losing streak at cross which makes me question how the sport came about. I am somewhat under the impression it has to do with the mainting fitness in the off season and a venue more suitable for inclement weather. I personally feel that with global warming that cross is somewhat obselete in consideration to our current weather trend. However, people seem to love it and the sport continues to grow. I struggle with it since I suck monters balls at barriers and run ups. I know, I know, practice practice practice. But eff that. That is no fun too me and after I have had a full day of dealing with the youth of America, I'll be damned if I take my troll shaped ass off into some grassy knoll to jump over some broke up sections of fencing. I prefer to strap on my lights, hop on the bike and roll off somehwere until my eyes roll into the back of my head. With that being said, I think my current training is right on target for a 60 mile road race in February with blustery winds and an average temp of 30. That certainly makes more sense then racing cross when it is in the 60's. Other things that are dumb......drugs and casinos.

its october now.

Last week I did a cross race and won a jar of peanuts. They hurt on the way out if you don't chew them up real good. Corn is much softer. Oh yeah Cam was there too. He wore cargo shorts and stood around alot. Today I didn't do a cross race. I'm gonna feel awesome for the rest of the week. I'm going to bed.

I did a cross race and lost.

Sunday I did a cyclocross race. I got beat by 2 guys that cut the course. I won my category though. Then I did a short ride towards home. I ate some ice cream and some cinnamon toast crunch which is awesome. Then I took a shower. I forgot how the rest of my evening went.

late season review

So I've gotten one or 2 complaints about not updating. So I thought for that sole loyal reader out there that I would update with some highlights of July though now (Sept. something, I cant see the date on my watch). Ok well here it goes......
I went to the Iowa games and crashed. It hurt real bad.
Then I went to superweek and lost. Then I did the state roadrace and lost. I went to Downer's grove and lost. The following week I went to the state crit and lost. I drove down to St. Louis for the gateway cup and lost. Last weekend I went and did sugar bottom, and just like Cam, (except worse) I lost. Anyway I really like racing and enjoy losing. Hopefully there are some supertuff 30plus cyclocross dudes so that I can continue my losing streak. Unfortunately Hansen is still in his 20's and Moritz his teens so I wont see them in my field. Goodnight!

If you can't say anything nice, don't say it

At least that's wha my momma said and would also explain my lack of updating so this will be kinda random and incomprehendable(is that a word). I can't hardly read bikeiowa.org anymore. Most days I delete all of it because I can't sit still long enough to make it through the dozens of postings that are on it everyday. I use to rely on it for race and ride information but now it has become a platform for cars vs. bikes. I don't know why exactly,but I am seriously getting sick of it. Maybe it is because it reminds me off the pain of losing my father to a drunk driver while he was out cycling. I don't really know. I do however, appreciate where I live. Rarely is there an instance of motorist wrangling with me and my bicycle. I think part of it is the smaller community both traffic and cycling wise. Our rides are always under 20 strong and there is not enough inhabitants to denote heavy traffic. We have plenty of hills, flats, and a fair amount of single track. We do not have miles and miles of paved bike paths which on a plus side keeps motoists from expecting you to ride on them. I prefer the road because paved paths seem to fill up with walkers (splat). Within the last year, I have done a Boulder group ride and an Iowa City group ride with each of those getting pulled over. If you want a solution to the problem, move here. I know this sounds closed minded but who reads this anyway.
I need a new cell phone.

Im not working right now

Last weekend was the Tour de Winhaven and it was a good time indeed!! It was the first Cat 3 free race I have done and I was most excited that I did not suck monster balls. There were alot of heavy hitters there like Tilford, Schmatz, and Jensen. The only mini-pro missing that would have decimated the field was Noonann. Anyways onto other things. Next week will be spent digging up the backyard for my par attempt in what is called landscaping. I'm hoping to branch out from there and go commercial. If you want your beautiful yard to look like ass, look me up.

memorialdayweekendbicycleraces.com

I had a great time this past weekend brushing up on my crit skills for the upcoming hometown race. Its gonna be hard and I hope I don't throw up in my mouth again. have a nice day

chill and get second

Saturday I paid 20 bucks to race, got second and won a pie. Sunday I paid 15 bucks to race, got second and won 60 bucks. The pie lasted longer. I would like to thank everyone with their support and concern as to wether or not I got the screen doors installed. I would like everyone to know that they are up and in full swing. Thanks for the love and support. This weekend there will be Cat 3 races. I would like to encourage half of the 4's in Iowa to upgrade and half of the 1/2's to downgrade for this weekend so we can have at least a dozen people in the race. go team go.......

Im an asshole and make bad things happen at State fair grounds crit

Some people are just sore losers. I had no intention of doing as well as I did at Sundays race and never felt in control the entire time. This was one of the most painful crits I have done in all my 18 years of racing. I have been contemplating an upgrade but anytime I race out of state where the fields are over 60 I usually get crushed. Apparently I hurt Sean Noonan's and Jake Boyce's feelings. Sean said it was a bad thing that happened when I won and Jake, who is incredibly strong, referred to me as an asshole in his blog site. Both of them felt I contributed very little to the break away in our race that ended up lapping the field. I am sorry they feel that way. I never kept score of who was in the front and who wasn't. I know the two guys in red were definitely stronger than myself and Lincoln plating guy. I have been racing since 1989. In that time I have upgraded, downgraded,been a USCF official, and upgraded again. I work full-time as a highschool teacher and have 2 boys to raise and feed. I pay an assload of bills and work at a thankless job were people are constantly shitting on you. I train as much as time allows. I am not getting any younger. I am way past my prime. Its a real joy to have a couple of young boys about half my age talk shit about me because I made it to the line before one of them. Incidently, I did not have a free weekend. My house needed 2 new storm doors. The race didn't even cover half a door.

I should feel sleepy

I wish I was tired right now. I'm thirtsy. I want to go outside. I'm making a bicycle trailer in shop class. I keep getting beat by Cat 3's so I am not going to upgrade, that would be dumb. I am not eating as many girl scout cookies this year. My driveway makes a circle. I'm teaching Landon to race. He will make a good 4 some day. I think it is stupid to have 2 USCF races on the same day in Iowa. Why can't we all just meet in the middle. Why do guys grow beards in the winter. I notice alot of people doing that. They are gross and ich real bad. We had a fun ride today. We road to a town with a morman temple and drank caffeinated beverages when we got there. Thank George Bush for the extra daylight, maybe Al Gore will save some money this month on utilities. Don't get any ideas, I could really care less who you like and don't like.

hello, how are you?

I was gonna update the other day but was to lazy to create a new google account. I guess I took the time tonight because I am not sleepy enough to go to bed. I think I will listen to some tunes for awhile. My oldest son suprised me the other day when he asked when his next bike race will be. He also told me today that steel toe boots can cut off your toes. My youngest son likes to get sick and cough for hours on end. The medical insurance makes his doctors very rich. I spent half of Saturday morning on the toilet and then went to the quad cities for the roller race. Today a bunch of us rode around for awhile. Dennis was riding in a banana and made friends with alot of farmers at a gas station. Hulk Hogan is having a pool party on TV. Looks like a goodtime. If anybody wants to come over sometime, I can make waffles.
love,
tater